Fuck this shit
Ratchet & Clank Future: A Crack 'n' Weed
Publication information




Release date

The End of Time


3rd person drug


Single Player
Pimp Playa


ESRB: AO (18+)
BBFC: UC (proof that Brits are safe)


XBox 3Shitty

Preceded By

Scratchit & Wank: Tools of Seduction

Ratchet & Clank Future: A Crack 'n' Weed is the 8th installment of the Ratchet & Clank series. It brings a unique new feature called Drug Gameplay where you fly over Planet Cuba and Planet Afghanistan in search of drugs and other related aspects.


The story focuses on Ratchet and Clank's origins and what they will do in the future. Another large aspect of the storyline is Ratchet, still searching for Clank. During his search for Clank, Ratchet went to Kabul City in search of the Crystal Meth that would allow him to communicate with his inner hysteria. In order to receive help in finding the Crystal Meth, Ratchet and Alister Puff, another Lombax who smokes cannabis, had to fight off the invading Agwhorians. Qwark will also accompany Ratchet in his search for Clank. One of Ratchet's other goals is to find and rescue as many Viagra pills as possible who are scattered across different locations.

According to the end scene in Ratchet & Clank Future: Quest for Booty, Ratchet will be fighting Dr. Happy and his butler, Dick, who both somehow managed to get off of the abandoned strip club they were stuck in. The Viagra pills have also got Happy to 'repair' Clank. Dr. Happy is possibly using them to rape Clank.

The game will possibly show more details and information about Max Boner, what happened to the Lombaxes, the Viagra pills, and other background information about the Scratchit & Wank Ratchet & Clank universe.

Drug GameplayEdit

Between flying planets, you are allowed to search the universe for things to do with Drugs. Ratchet sometimes encounters Drug Depots, which have the Drug Dealer. Sometimes the Drug Dealer sells you drugs, or gives you missions to find drugs and sell them to him for a hefty price. Ratchet's ship is given a new feature called the Drug Tether which can pull numerous amount of drugs in one place.

Spherical PlantsEdit

In the space between planets, Ratchet sometimes lands on spherical plants. Each plant contains a different type of drug, and when harvested, Ratchet earns bolts. There are sometimes Sniffers on these plants, which Ratchet has to eradicate of.



  • Cocaine Pistol
  • Cocaine Bomb
  • Cocaine Shotgun
  • Rollie
  • LSD V
  • Ecstacy Seducer 5000
  • Unconfirmed weapon (possibly MaruMine Glove)
  • Magic Mushroom of Death
  • R.A.P.E. V
  • Marajuana Glove
  • Tentacle Monster Gun


  • Sniffers
  • Crackheads
  • Hectics
  • Agwhorians


  • Doctor Happy
  • Lord Dizzy
  • Ratchet
  • Clank
  • Qwark

Planets & PlantsEdit

  • Cocaine Plant
  • Opium Plant
  • Ecstaconium Plant
  • Helmand - Afghanistan
  • Cuba
  • Poppy Fields

My Dick goes hard weapon contestEdit

Insomniac Games offered a contest where the player could design their own weapon for it to appear in the game. The winner was the Magic Mushroom of Death.

Ratchet & Clank wiki
For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at the Ratchet & Clank wiki have an article about Ratchet & Clank Future: A Crack in Time.

Better Graphic UpgradesEdit

Despite the engine being so much bettar than evar, the fire takes the shape of default custom shapes in Photoshop and some parts of guns pulsate like they're being inflated with cum or eggs. Hell, one of the guns makes a portal that spawns a tentacle monster for fuck's sake. A tentacle monster.